Psalms

Seems like a common theme in my life these days is Anger at God. People in my life (Myself included) seem to be angry at God for one reason or another. Be it finances, family matters, or just general disgust with the state of the world. What's worse, is most people run from this anger. We avoid it. We are embarrassed by it. We refuse to bring that anger to God. Why? Why why why? Do we think we can fool God? It's like we're so pissed at him, but we're afraid to let him know so we hide it. But, if you open your bible to Psalm 139, you'll see Verses 1-4 say:

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

So what can we possibly hide from God? We can't hide anything. So we come to him. In tears, in laughter and even in Anger. Is that bad? NO. No it isn't. God wants us to come to him as we are. Don't hide how you feel so that you can give him the reverence he requires. If you're pissed, be pissed. I discovered a while back, that if you do that you will often find a certain amount of peace. Now I'm not saying you should come to him with the intention of being a pissed of Jerk. Not at all. But, it's so easy to be afraid to show our true feelings to the almighty. So easy. And I do it all the time. If I have strong feelings or thoughts that I deem 'ungodly' I try to convince God (and myself) that every thing is okay and that it's something I need to deal with on my own. And that's dangerous. Dangerous stuff!

So what are we to do? Well, the obvious Christian answer is: Look to Jesus. He will show you how to deal with it. So, can we think of a time when Jesus was pissed? (the temple. (Matt 21:12-13) A time when he was unsure? (Gethsemane. (Matt 26: 39-45)

How about anger with God? (The cross) Now I'm not saying that it wasn't his will. He willfully went to the cross. No doubt. But the words "Eloi Eloi lema sabachthani?" (The little bit of Aramaic I remember from Catholic school.) speak Volumes. God why have you forsaken me? So when Jesus was angry with God he quoted a Psalm. (His words are the opening lines of Psalm 22) So, I decided to read through psalm 22 and it seems to hit home how I and a lot of people around me are feeling. Crying out to God with no answer. Then getting more and more angry with him because he isn't answering. Sending us on a vicious cycle of sorts. Ps 22 is a prayer. It doesn't give any answers. It ends with King David asking God to not be far away and begging him to stay close. I guess a prayer we can all ask when we are feeling lonely.

But what about answers? Well, we've established we can't hide our feeligns from God. Maybe we can run from him?

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. (Ps 139:7-8)

Damn. So much for that idea. As I read on through 139, I found a lot of hope. Hope in a place I never used to find it. In the fear of God. I always felt that had a negative connotation to it. But I really don't feel as though it does anymore. Fear doesn't mean threatened into submission (That's not how God rolls.) No, instead I would translate fear as awe, wonder, amazement or - dare I say - being blessed. Yes. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am, because I count myself blessed that God looks after me. Unworthy as I may feel, he has proved that I am worthy. (Gen 1:31) Everything I have - every blessing in my life - I owe to God. So I come to him in fear. I come to him in anger. I come to him in sadness. I come to him as me. He is creator and King who has given me life. The least i can do, is be myself.

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Today's Piece of Worke
Bernard Madoff and his 150 Year Jail Sentence